You’ve just had to turn down your partner for sex again.

They’ve been asking for it for days. Maybe even weeks. But no matter what you do, you just don’t feel like it–though you want to feel like it.

Sexual chemistry is crucial in relationships, so understandably this creates disappointment and hurt when neither party is at fault. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Your libido just needs a jump start, and soon you’ll be back to Business Wednesdays like you used to.

In this article, you’ll learn how to improve your sex drive in 9 simple ways and get back that thrill for the bedroom that you’ve been missing.

How to Improve Your Sex Drive

First question of the day: what controls your libido, anyway?

In short, it’s complicated. Factors that come into play may be internal or external. Everyone has different hormone levels, so you mustn’t feel any shame about having a low sexual drive.

Low libido can be a result of work stress or exhaustion. It can be a side effect of antidepressants and other medications. You may have a medical condition that contributes to this deficiency.

Further, sexual urges may decline with poor sleep, and with age. The length of your relationship may play a role; oftentimes new couples are extremely sexually active, but then decline in sexual activity over time.

Sex research has improved significantly in recent years, as has the liberty and openness around a healthy sex life. The shame from past centuries is disappearing bit by bit. This means you’ll find an abundance of resources to get back into the groove.

Regardless of where you stand, there are always ways to improve your naked congress.

1: Try New Things

Everyone has been there before. You have sex in the missionary position and call it a day. And the sex becomes as regular as the missionaries knocking on your door!

You want to know how to have more sex? Change things up! As the saying goes, doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.

Try new sex positions. Introduce foreplay or roleplay into the experience. Experiment with toys, or have sex in new places.

Make sex spontaneous. Go on vacation and have that luxury shower lovemaking you’ve always dreamed of. Don’t let sex just be an arrangement like the landscapers coming to do the yard.

2: Change Your Diet

In addition to eating healthy, an aphrodisiac (a food that boosts libido) may be just what the doctor ordered.

Avocados, bananas, and figs are cited often. Chocolate is associated with desire, but studies suggest it may promote it too.

Basil and garlic might be the ticket to stimulate your senses. You might also give Ginkgo biloba a shot.

3: Treat Mental Illness

Anxiety and depression are sadly all too common in our day and age and may be contributing to your lack of desire. When you’re panicking about something or suffering a depressive episode, your sex life suffers accordingly.

While antidepressants may reduce sex drive in some cases, treating your mental health is paramount here. Getting back your love for life may just be the key to getting back your love for sex, too.

4: Self-Confidence

While you might think this one sounds easier said than done, there are lots of little ways to boost your confidence–and boost your libido.

Try dieting or intermittent fasting to lose excess weight. Exercise regularly to get a body that makes you feel proud. Use self-affirmations and positive self-talk rather than nonstop negative thoughts that you may be having about yourself.

5: Improve Your Relationship

It’s entirely normal for relationships to be very passionate in the beginning but then decline with time. The sad reality is that many couples allow this degradation to continue. A relationship requires work, and better relationships mean better sex.

This may involve couples therapy, sex therapy, and regular date nights. Try to relive the flame of your early relationship by giving gifts more often, or spending more quality time together.

6: Control Your Substances

Though alcohol is often associated with drunken trysts, it is a depressant, which means it reduces sexual drive. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t drink on those romantic dates, but try to limit intake to no more than one drink.

Narcotics such as cocaine and hallucinogens such as weed may also decrease libido.

7: Reduce Porn Usage

There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to watching porn and masturbating. However, the excitement of porn may lead to reduced excitement in the bedroom.

Many couples have healthy porn use. It may help to give the best sex ideas or spark lust when both partners need it. But like all things, moderation is key, and less porn may benefit a relationship.

8: Talk to a Doctor

Erectile dysfunction is a common source of embarrassment for men who fail to perform in the bedroom. Women may also feel that their birth control or other factors are killing desire.

There’s no shame in consulting with a medical professional to diagnose a lack of sexual desire. Couples therapy and sex therapy are also valuable resources for those who feel the bedroom has gotten stale.

9: Get in Tune With Your Body

Some level of spiritual practice may help you to develop a closer connection to your body. Meditation and yoga promote mental wellness by clearing the mind. These and other practices may offer valuable introspection and exploration to understand what might be going wrong.

Practicing martial arts, going on hikes, and giving psychedelics a shot may be the key to reviving a dormant sex life.

To the Bedroom!

Now that you’ve figured out how to fix the bedroom crisis, you’ll need the proper tools to complete this sublime experience.

The important takeaway here is that your sex life is not too far gone. If you want to know how to improve your sex drive, it could be one small change that you’re missing.

If you’re not sure what to do, there’s no shame in asking! Experts are on standby to ask all your burning questions.

Now get back in there, and break the headboard!