In the early days of your partnership, the desire to explore one another’s bodies was likely at an all-time high. Now, it might feel as if the mystery is gone and the spark has gone with it.
There’s no correct answer to how often you should have sex with your lover. One study found that the happiest couples report having sex an average of 54 times a year, which is about once a week-but the truth is that it’s not all about sex.
Sharing sensual pleasures can go a long way toward creating physical and emotional intimacy. We’re here to get your inspiration flowing.
Read on for ten intimate ideas that will reactivate your sensuality in the bedroom and out.
1. Write a Sensual Wishlist
It’s not always easy to tell your lover that you wish they’d try something new between the sheets. To ease the tension and lean into the conversation, both parties can write a sensual wishlist of the kinds of touch they’d like to receive and give. Then, pick something from your lover’s list that you’re willing to try and give it a shot.
2. Try a Toys-Only Experience
Maybe orgasm is the goal, but you’re struggling with (or growing weary of) oral and penetrative sex. Ask your partner if they’re interested in having a toys-only experience, using toys to pleasure yourselves or one another in turn or at the same time. Even the act of shopping for toys together can help to knock down some of those walls and create sensual excitement.
3. Touch Without Sex
How often do you avoid getting too close to your lover because you don’t know that you feel like having sex, and touch tends to make them aroused? Devote time each week to touching one another in pleasurable ways (e.g., massage, kissing, hugging, etc.) with the joy of mutual consent and without the pressure of having sex afterward. This can deepen your intimacy while making you more comfortable with your partner’s touch.
4. Make Eye Contact
If eye contact feels intimate, that’s because it is. When you make eye contact with your lover, you show that you are being intentional, and this form of intimacy can actually release feel-good chemicals in the brain. When you and your lover are enjoying a dinner date, having a conversation on the couch, or heading for the bedroom, make sure to give them a little eye contact to show that little could distract you from their body and mind.
5. Dine on Natural Aprhodisiacs
If you’re struggling with low libido but don’t want to try prescription medications, consider a science-backed aphrodisiac like maca or saffron, which you can introduce into your diet or take in supplement form. Remember that in addition to true aphrodisiacs, food is part of our sensual experience, too. Share in the sensuality of dining on rich, flavorful foods by feeding them to one another-and stick to finger foods for a more hands-on experience.
6. Dress the Part
When you’re always changing in and out of work clothing and loungewear, it can be hard to tap into your sensual side because you’re not envisioning yourself as a sensual person. Have the occasional date night where you and your lover both put in a little extra effort. Tap into your sexual side and tantalize your lover by investing in some new and enticing lingerie-those matching sets can go a long way toward getting you both in the mood!
7. Embrace All of Your Senses
Sensuality isn’t just about sexual pleasure, although that can be a major part of it. It’s ultimately about the pleasure of the senses, and that can include smell, taste, sound, and sight in addition to touch. With your lover, fill your bedroom with scented candles, music or audio tracks, delicious treats, and even artwork that stimulate the senses and provide you with a pleasurable experience when you’re climbing into bed together.
8. Change Your Scenery
It’s possible that you and your lover have gotten so used to living your daily lives in your home that it’s hard to put a pause on non-sensual activities to make time for each other. Try a change of scenery by booking a stay in a hotel, even one in your own city, and be sure to pack your toys, lingerie, and anything else that gets you in the mood. For an at-home change of pace, shop for new bed linens, opting for materials like silk that feel smooth and inviting on the skin.
9. Move in Sync
Sharing sensual pleasures is all about timing and focus-in other words, moving and feeling in a synchronized pattern with your partner. To get back in sync, try a form of movement other than sex or foreplay. You can do yoga together, dance together, or even swim together, allowing your bodies to move in rhythm while observing both the sight and sensation that comes with it.
10. Drop the Distractions
No matter which of these tips you try out with your lover, there’s one that you should always bring into the equation: putting away the phones. When we’re constantly trying to stay on top of work emails, social media posts, and texts, we’re not paying attention to our desires or the person right in front of us. Start leaving your phone in your pocket or in another room when you’re with your partner and let the heat of the moment take the stage.
Bring Sensual Pleasures Back Into Your Relationship
Whether you want to enhance your sex life, deepen your intimacy, or experience more joy with your lover each day, these tips to activate sensual pleasures can help. Which one will you try first?
New Fine Arts is an adult toy and apparel store that is here to support your sensual side. Find a location near you or shop our website to start spicing things up.